For all those with teen kids…by Whitney Fleming
You can feel like you are losing them during the teenage years, even though they’re right there in front of you.
One day, you are laughing and getting along, the next you feel like you are sitting with a stranger you don’t know in the least.
They might be unrecognizable, growing six inches in a span of six months.
They might have changed personalities, from sweet and loving to salty and stoic.
They might have changed their interests, their focus, their dreams.
You lose them to their phones. You lose them to their rooms. You lose them to their friends, their activities, their jobs.
You may feel desperate to cling to the child you once knew, the one who adored you, the one you got along with, the one whose hand you thought you’d hold forever.
You may feel like crying from their constant rejection. You may feel lost when you can’t get them back on track. You may feel insignificant when they ignore you or lash out.
You will grow impatient with the status of your relationship. You will feel frustrated with the push and pull. You will grieve what is no longer there.
You will pull back. You will say less. You will watch from afar.
You will take whatever interaction you can get even if it is always on their terms.
You will pick and choose your battles because you are tired of so many battles.
You will try to stay available even though they are mostly unavailable.
And then one day when you least expect it, you will feel something shift.
You’ll see glimpses of the person they are becoming, and you begin to look forward to seeing what they will do with their life.
You start to learn about their new interests, their new passions, their new sense of self.
You will begin building a new relationship, one where you are no longer their sun. Your job is to be their moon, connected by a force so strong that it will never break. You will follow them along, providing light in their darkest moments, direction when needed. Sometimes your presence is large and looming, and sometimes it is small, barely seen by the naked eye. But you will always be there.
It won’t be perfect. It won’t be what it was.
But if you can survive losing your teen for a little bit, what happens when they come back to you can be even more beautifull.
❤ Written by Whitney Fleming